I burst into tears this morning when my hubby told me something I do makes him feel bad. He had a valid point. It was something I was unconsciously doing – not deliberate or uncaring – just unaware.

But my reaction to him telling me I’d hurt him was so dramatic and out of proportion to him just openly sharing his feelings with me – that I knew it had hit an old wound.


Before my life coach training in 2009, I would have hid from the feelings that made me feel uncomfortable. I’d run away, hide in the dark cave in my mind or even worse blame the other person for ‘making me feel bad’. But that was just victim thinking.

But now I know when something hits a nerve with such ferocity that there is a part of me which needs to be heard and to be healed.

I’m not scared to go in there any more – because I know the ecstatic relief on the other side. And so I’ll take myself through my process and know that I’ll feel better for it and that my hubby’s feelings have been heard and acknowledged too.

Do you ever find yourself blaming others for making you feel bad? Have you reacted over the top to something and wondered ‘what the heck?’ It’s likely what you’re experiencing is victim thinking. And you can choose to stay in it or set yourself free.

So make a note and work on it – believe me it doesn’t need to be scary, it can even be fun. I know this to be sooo true.

And if you want help to uncover and release those dark places and set yourself free in the process book a time to have a FREE chat with me.

Now I’m off to work on myself – it’s just another layer in the onion of life’s experiences. 

Angela x

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