I am just like you, I sometimes have fears.  Some are rational like don’t step out in front of a moving car.  Others are certainly not – like I am too old, or I am too fat.

“I am too old, too fat, too unfit, I’ll get too hot, go red – OMG I will sweat too much and all my makeup will fall off … what if I am wearing the completely wrong thing and I am out of place?”

These were the exact words that fell out of my mouth on Saturday morning.

My hubby and I had booked to go to the after party from the Pride Parade on Saturday night.  We wanted to go and dance, wiggle our butts – do disco and electronica. Just let loose, dance all night and feel free.

But I wasn’t feeling free I was feeling scared.  Logically I knew this was all bullsh*t but it didn’t matter – my old friend fear had a good grip on me, and I was fighting with her.

Mr F looked at me as if I had lost the plot and just “It’s just a night out to dance, and if either of us feels uncomfortable we can just leave”.

I felt some of the tension release – I had an escape route now.  But still, I felt her with a stranglehold on my throat, my heart and my stomach….. And breathe ……

Release your fearsI knew I had to go and do something in my studio, I had to get my hands in paint, I needed to see paint dripping down a canvas – I needed to play and come back to myself.  And so I did – I put on my wiggle your butt music, I threw paint, I got messy and I connected with my inner child.  I began to breathe, to relax to be playful, to be curious and to become me again.

I made friends with Ms fear, I stopped fighting her and I let her know she was acknowledged, seen, heard and then dismissed. She was not needed anymore.  She fell quiet – she didn’t go away, but she let loose her grip on me.

Why am I telling you this story?  Because I know fear happens to my clients too.  I know that once they start to change and grow, that people start to change around them, and that is scary. Other people close to them feel uncomfortable, they feel the change and they are fearful of what that means for them.  My clients become more empowered and sometimes their friends, family or partner try to pull them back.

It’s not that their people don’t want them to be empowered, to be themselves, to be happy, it’s just they are scared of the change and they are fearful of what it means for them or even worse what it means about them.

I tell my clients to reassure their people, to bring them on the journey too.  But sometimes you just can’t, sometimes they just have to accept that you are not the same person and they have to deal with that.

But please don’t let your fear get in the way of making a change.  Don’t play small because you are afraid it will make others uncomfortable.  It’s your time to shine, you may need support but you can do it.

Feel the fear and do it anywayAnd the party – OMG!!!  It was fabulous, I was off from the moment I heard Donna Summer booming out from the speakers, surrounded by fabulous men who could dance and were so uninhibited, and I saw the absolute joy on Mr F’s face as he boogied and wiggled and just loved every moment.

I lost myself in the music, I danced for 2 hours, I did go red, my makeup did come off, my hair stuck to my head and do you know what? … I had the time of my life.

Go on, overcome your fear and have the time of your life, and if you need help – you know where I am.


If you would like to make a change in your life and you need me to walk alongside you, guide you and help you make the right decisions for yourself then book a FREE 30-minute Discovery Session with me now.

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